Redeeming Orphans

So you finally finished the mounds of paperwork to complete your adoption.  Now all you have to do is wait.  At least while you were working on the paperwork, you had something to keep your mind occupied.  You were so busy you barely had time to think about the empty room you would soon fill with a child (or children).  But now there is nothing left to be done and the silence is deafening. So now what?

I know this time can be discouraging.  We were told our process would take 4-8 months and it turned into 18 months.  While waiting can be difficult, do your best not to throw yourself a pity party.  This will be very easy to do as you will have sympathy from many.  While of course there will be difficult days and you should share that with others, try not to wallow.  Remind yourself that God is in complete control and his timing is perfect.

There are many important things you can do while you are waiting.  I would like to outline a simple list for you here:

1. Spend more time with the Lord.  You may already be seeking God daily which is great.  Once you add another child into your life, your little one will take up lots of your time.  Use this time now to memorize verses which will encourage you during this time of waiting and the challenging times of parenting to come.  If you are having a tough time thinking of ways to enhance your time with the Lord, check out Dr. Donald Whitney’s book, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life.  Adoption can be a trying time spiritually, seek the Lord and he will renew your faith.
2. Spend quality time with your family.  If you do not yet have children take advantage of date nights.  You can go out and stay out! Make those late night runs to Krispy Kreme or catch a good movie.  Go over to friends’ houses, make the most of this.  If you have children spend special time with them.  Take them to the park, on dates with you, the museum, story time, etc. You will likely not be able to focus as much attention on them right when your new arrival comes.
3. Work on grants and fund raising. We all know adoptions are usually a little pricey.  Now is a great time to apply for grants and raise funds. Click on our link Adoption Funding for a list of places to go for grants and a great selection of articles on funding an adoption.  There are some great ideas out there.
4. Serve others.  One way not to succumb to self pity is by taking your focus off of you and putting it on others. What can you (and any children you may have) do for others?  A few ideas: take a meal to someone going through a difficult or busy season in life, visit the nursing home, ask how you can help out at church, volunteer to baby-sit for friends . . . .I am sure you can easily come up with something.
5. Prepare for your child. Go ahead and get his or her room ready.  I would personally avoid buying many clothes yet.  As much as you hope to have them home soon, soon can turn into later and then they’ve already grown out of the clothes you purchased for them.  There are some things that you will need that likely won’t change . . . bedding, décor, toys, school supplies,etc.  Now is a good time to make room for future clothes, shoes, and toys. It’s also a great time to stock up on medicines.  Ask around and see what you should be taking on your trip if you are adopting internationally.  All children eventually get sick and it is best to have Tylenol, Motrin, Pedialyte, band-aids, Neosporin, and a thermometer readily available.  Make sure you have the phone number for poison control on your fridge!  If you are adopting a baby, many local hospitals have free classes on caring for infants.  This might be a great option to check into.
6. Read.  There are many great books on parenting as well as parenting adopted children.  Check out our Bookstore for some great ideas.
7. Get Ahead.  Make a few meals and stick them in the freezer.  Once little junior is home and you don’t feel like cooking (or are just too busy), just pull out a meal.  Go to the dentist, get your hair done, all those little appointments you’ve been meaning to schedule, now is the time.  Even if it’s not spring, go ahead and get some spring cleaning done.  You’ll be glad you did once you have less time.
8. Find a pediatrician.  If you don’t already have one, now is a great time to find a pediatrician.  Ask around and call your local pediatricians.  Ask if they see many adopted children.  Many times you can meet with the doctor personally before deciding if his or her practice is right for you.  Make sure to ask if they are currently taking new patients.

These are just a few ideas and I know you can come up with more.  Don’t look back on this time with regret.  God has purpose for your wait time, so get busy waiting!